With Monkey Island getting a lot of re-hype lately I think it’s only fair that people remember how great LOOM is. Released in 1990, it was a Lucasfilm Games fantasy adventure game that blended a great story with highly enjoyable, non-annoying gameplay (you can’t die, you’re never forced to completely restart the game and you’re never crowbarred into hours of trial and error). You play as Bobbin Threadbare, a member of the Guild of Weavers venturing throughout the land learning and casting spells on your musical staff to solve problems and ultimately important mysteries. A great moment in computer game history.

WHAT IF I WAS A CHARACTER IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE?

Name: Roulade.
Hometown: Dampier, Western Australia.
Weapon: Holy Sword of Newest Balance.
Aesthetic: Salt n Pepa meets Purple Rain via a black / really real blue / prussian blue colourway.
Powers: Mind travel, good at sword(s).
Weaknesses: Fatal wounds, event scheduling.
Allies: Tiga, the Ghost of Fred Perry.
Enemies: Chris Brown?
Indifferent to: the barista at Coffee, Tea or Me?(.)

The upside down sword says that I’m pretty casual about things but the presence of a sword says that I know how to use it. The apparent aggression of the clenched fist is balanced out by the roguish nonchalance of the scarf & t-shirt combination (not to be confused with “Fan of The Arcade Fire”) and the semi-shevelled hair.

WHAT IF SOUNDWAVE & POOCHIE WENT ON A TACKY PACKAGE HOLIDAY TOGETHER IN THE EARLY 90’s AND SENT A POSTCARD BACK TO CYBERTRON / ITCHY & SCRATCHY?

…you need a crab