bands i have no desire to listen to based on their reviews:

Apathetique Montmartre
“Like Smokey Robinson riding a drum machine through your high school geography classroom but even grittier”

The Sound of a Scrawled Comma
“A punch in the face from a dictaphone recording of Aphex Twin crying Sonic Youth jazzmaster tears after finding out he was never really adopted by Joan Jett and Slick Rick! Bravo, tSoaSC!”

COEXISTENCE
“Incongruously vivid, this is Habermas House for the generation that were too young for Shattered Chrysanthemum the first time around”

The Remember
“If Jason Priestley was Batman instead of Michael Keaton, The Remember would have replaced Jack Nicholson as the Joker or at least picked up his drycleaning for him”

i spent the last few months working for a federal government agency and noticed pretty early on that the phenomenon of naming your child like an alien tribal goddess or a lunar frontier moonrock smuggler is getting out of hand. below is a list of ridiculous first and middle names that came in on birth certificates, they’re all children except for the one parent that made it into the mix (big hello going out to Bender). nb: exotic heritage is not responsible for any of these names, all of these kids have incredibly plain anglo surnames and parents with normal/established first and middle names - this is the work of thursday nights in shopping centres rather than centuries of culture.

Taylah / Jayke & Slayter (brothers) / Jaidanah / Taneekah / Charlee Jaide / Enya Storm / Phynnix Demettri / Leighahnah Aleece / Tarni Akaysha / Phoenix Sunfire & Oriana Delia Angel (sisters) / Makayla / Xaidyn / Lynkkin / Adlih / Jakayah / Shirree / Kyisha / Shakai / Jakoda / Tarren (male) / Maycee / Kiahna / Indya / Ryle / Zilla (female) / Tyiessa / Nyah / Xyah / Braxxden / Maddlyn / Xantha (female) / Ocea / Saphire Tierra / Jazzmyne / Allyeasiah / Zahn Red / Skyelia / Raven-Rose Jayde / Cydnie / Shondyll / Jamarley / Syjane / Kethrik Jocsph / Alix / Issaace / McKaylah / Kaaden / Trahdyn / Indica Bree / Sharvarion / Eileisha / Anarquay & Souljah (sister & brother) / Khloe / Rocket / Tidan Jett / Bender (21 years old in 2008) / Arli /Apryl