i spent the last few months working for a federal government agency and noticed pretty early on that the phenomenon of naming your child like an alien tribal goddess or a lunar frontier moonrock smuggler is getting out of hand. below is a list of ridiculous first and middle names that came in on birth certificates, they’re all children except for the one parent that made it into the mix (big hello going out to Bender). nb: exotic heritage is not responsible for any of these names, all of these kids have incredibly plain anglo surnames and parents with normal/established first and middle names - this is the work of thursday nights in shopping centres rather than centuries of culture.

Taylah / Jayke & Slayter (brothers) / Jaidanah / Taneekah / Charlee Jaide / Enya Storm / Phynnix Demettri / Leighahnah Aleece / Tarni Akaysha / Phoenix Sunfire & Oriana Delia Angel (sisters) / Makayla / Xaidyn / Lynkkin / Adlih / Jakayah / Shirree / Kyisha / Shakai / Jakoda / Tarren (male) / Maycee / Kiahna / Indya / Ryle / Zilla (female) / Tyiessa / Nyah / Xyah / Braxxden / Maddlyn / Xantha (female) / Ocea / Saphire Tierra / Jazzmyne / Allyeasiah / Zahn Red / Skyelia / Raven-Rose Jayde / Cydnie / Shondyll / Jamarley / Syjane / Kethrik Jocsph / Alix / Issaace / McKaylah / Kaaden / Trahdyn / Indica Bree / Sharvarion / Eileisha / Anarquay & Souljah (sister & brother) / Khloe / Rocket / Tidan Jett / Bender (21 years old in 2008) / Arli /Apryl